


Freeze

by IAmANonnieMouse



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Blind Date, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, One Shot, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-11-02 13:43:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20766701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmANonnieMouse/pseuds/IAmANonnieMouse
Summary: Across from him, Arthur takes a sip of his wine, then says, "I froze all of your assets this afternoon."





	Freeze

**Author's Note:**

  * For [soup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soup/gifts).

> The lovely [Sophie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamhusbands) shared a post in the discord server that said  
_Today my psych professor said, "You'll never truly know someone well enough to marry until you've seen them struggle financially, grieve a lost one, or witness them while they're sick." And that just hit really deep._  
_[reblog]_  
_First date ideas: freeze their assets, kill one of their loved ones, poison their dinner_  
And everyone knows how open I am to ideas.  
I've been kinda drowning in school for the last couple weeks, but I wanted to take a breather from homework, so I hope you all enjoy a silly ficlet of ridiculousness haha <3  
(Sorry the title is so unoriginal I panicked okay??)

It's a blind date tonight, with some mutual friend of Mal's. Eames could have sworn he'd declared an end to these months ago, but Mal has a way of talking him into things before he's realized he's being talked into.

Oh well. Dinner, hopefully some eye candy, and then they can part ways, and Eames can call Mal in the morning and say, "No more blind dates. And I mean it this time." 

Not that she'll listen.

His date's beaten him to the restaurant, which is either a good sign or a very concerning one. He stands as the hostess walks Eames to the table.

"Arthur," he says, lips quirking into a barely-there smile.

Eames shakes his hand. Dammit, but Mal has good taste. He's impeccably-dressed, in a suit that fits him so well it has to be tailored. Eames admires it, even as he watches Arthur's eyes drift over Eames' attire: a loudly-patterned shirt, with loudly-colored pants to match. 

Eames can't hold back his grin.

They order their food and drinks, then make polite small talk as they wait for their food. Current line of employment, birthplace, favorite animals. Eames spouts the lies he's perfected, distantly wishing they were true. Life as a tattoo artist would certainly be a fun change of pace.

Sometimes, Eames thinks he would prefer it if Mal set him up with someone else from dreamshare, but that's like shitting where you eat. The community is too small, still. A bad break up would probably end Eames' career, and then he'd have to find out if tattooing people for a living is _really_ as fun as it seems. 

Their food arrives, which thankfully brings an end to their idle chat. Eames cuts into his steak with zeal. 

Across from him, Arthur takes a sip of his wine, then says, "I froze all of your assets this afternoon."

Eames hesitates, fork raised. "You—" He puts his fork down. "I'm sorry, I definitely misheard that."

Arthur's lips quirk. "No, you didn't." He pokes at his salad. "If it's any consolation, dinner's on me. Obviously."

Eames stares. "Obviously."

"Hm," Arthur says. He's watching Eames closely, without the slightest attempt at subtlety. 

Eames frowns. "What?"

"Nothing, "Arthur says, which only concerns Eames more. He hadn't picked up _creepy pyscho_ vibes from Arthur, but he doesn't know how else to interpret this.

He takes a bite of his steak. It tastes delicious, which is truly impressive considering Eames is in a mild state of shock. 

"Are you going to unfreeze my assets?" he asks slowly. What he really wants to know is how Arthur was able to freeze them in the first place—and how Arthur knew which identity to freeze—but he thinks he won't like the answer.

Mal wouldn't set him up with a government agent. Probably.

Arthur hums and eats his salad. "Yes. I suppose."

Eames stutter-stops. "You—you _suppose_?" 

Arthur arches a brow. "Is this bothering you?"

"Yes," Eames says. "_Obviously._"

Arthur sips his wine again. Eames is tempted to knock the glass out of his hand. He takes it back; Mal has abysmal taste.

Eames chews his steak and forces himself _not_ to imagine various ways to kill Arthur and make it look like an accident. 

Arthur is watching him so intently Eames is waiting for him to pull out a microscope. Eames bears it for as long as it takes him to finish chewing.

"Is there something on my face?" he asks with a glare.

Arthur hesitates. He looks confused, so Eames adds, "You're staring."

"Oh." Arthur glances down at his salad. "I'm just trying to figure out how to categorize your reaction."

Eames blinks. "You're _what_?"

Arthur sighs. "My friend who set us up tonight. She gave me some 'important dating advice.'"

Eames feels his annoyance slipping away. He can only imagine what Mal said. "Is she the one who told you to freeze my assets?" 

"Sort of?" Arthur shrugs. "She said I wouldn't know someone really well until I saw how they reacted in adversity, like if they lost their money or a loved one died." He glances up and smirks slightly. "I thought it would be easier to freeze your assets then kill someone."

Eames snorts. "I appreciate that." He eyes Arthur. "I doubt she was serious, you know."

Arthur nods slowly. "I'm starting to get that. So, I'm sorry about the whole…freezing thing."

"As long as you unfreeze everything, I suppose I can forgive you," Eames responds lightly. He's changed his mind again: Mal has amazing taste. This man is a gorgeously-tailored mess, and Eames loves it. "This has certainly been the most…unusual blind date I've been on."

Arthur takes a bite of his salad, cheeks pink. "Sorry. It's Mal's fault."

"Oh, most things are." Eames takes another bite of his steak. Chews. Thinks about the man sitting across from him. "So, tell me, Arthur," he says, leaning in across the table. "What do you know about dreams?"

Arthur meets his gaze, and they share a grin. 

Later that night, Eames calls Mal. "No more blind dates," he says. "I don't need them anymore."

Arthur leans over his shoulder and shouts into the speaker, "Thanks for nothing, Mal!" then reaches over, snatches the phone, and hangs up.


End file.
